Wednesday, September 19th, 2018

Changing Car Oil-Baby Boomer Women 3 Steps VS Baby Boomer Men 41 Steps


man woman images Changing Car Oil Baby Boomer Women 3 Steps VS Baby Boomer Men 41 StepsOil Change instructions for Women:

1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage
reaches 3000 miles since the last oil change.
2) Drink a cup of coffee.
3) 15 minutes later, write a check and leave
with a properly maintained vehicle.

Money spent:
Oil Change: $20.00
Coffee: $100
Total: $21.00

Oil Change instructions for Men:

1) Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts
store, buy case of oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner
& a scented tree, write check for $50.00.
2) Stop by the Thirsty Dawg and buy a case of
beer, write a check for $20, drive home.
3) Open a beer and drink it.
4) Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for
jack stands.
5) Find jack stands under the quad.
6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
7) Place drain pan under engine.
8) Look for 9/16-box end wrench.
9) Give up and use crescent wrench.
10) Unscrew drain plug.
11) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: splash
hot oil on you in process. Cuss.
12) Crawl out from under car to wipe hot oil off of face and arms. Throw kitty litter on spilled oil.
13) Have another beer while watching oil drain.
14) Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.
15) Give up; crawl under car and hammer a
screwdriver through oil filter and twist off.
16) Crawl out from under car with dripping oil filter splashing oil everywhere from holes.
17) Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash in trash cans to avoid
environmental penalties.
18) Drink a beer.
19) Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket surface.
20) Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
21) Remember drain plug from step 11.
22) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
23) Drink beer.
24) Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor.
25) Throw kitty litter on oil spill.
26) Get drain plug back in with only a minor spill. Drink beer.
27) Crawl under car getting kitty litter into eyes.
28) Wipe eyes with oily rag used to clean drain plug.
29) Slip with stupid crescent wrench tightening drain plug and
bang knuckles on frame removing any excess skin between
knuckles and frame.
30) Begin cussing fit.
31) Throw stupid crescent wrench.
32) Cuss for additional 5 minutes because wrench hit a Playboy poster
33) Drink a Beer.
34) Clean up hands and bandage as required to stop blood flow.
35) Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.
36) Lower car from jack stands
37) Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during
any missed steps.
38) Test drive car.
39) Car gets impounded.
40) Call loving wife, make bail.
41) 12 hours later, get car from impound yard

Money spent:
Parts: $50.00
DUI: $2,500.00
Impound fee: $75.00
Bail: $1500.00
Beer: $20.00
Total: $4,145.00: But you know the job was done right!


~Author Unknown…But sent to me via Jim Fitzgerald, so he gets partial credit, by Susie McGowan.

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