Friday, October 20th, 2017

Adult Children Moving Back Home: Don’t Let “Boomerang Kids” Derail Your Goals

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boomerang kids picture 300x199 Adult Children Moving Back Home: Dont Let Boomerang Kids Derail Your Goals

Guest blog Post by Amanda Kidd

Wikipedia says that the Boomerang Generation aka Boomerang Kids is one of several terms applied to the current generation of young adults in Western culture.They are so named for the frequency with which they choose to co-habitate with their parents after a brief period of living on their own–thus boomeranging back to their place of origin. This cohabitation can take many forms, ranging from situations that mirror the high dependency of pre-adulthood to highly independent, separate-household arrangements.

The term can be used to indicate only those members of this age-set that actually do return home, not the whole generation. In as much as home-leaving practices differ by economic class, the term is most meaningfully applied to members of the middle class.

The American comedy film, Failure to Launch, (watch the movie trailer at the end of this post) features a 35 year old man living with his baby boomer parents, Terry Bradshaw and Kathy Bates, not ready to forgo the comfort of his house. The reasons Matthew McConaughey (playing the 35 year old) reveals for staying with his parents may not be justified for a dependent living. The story may be a rather old one (Failure to Launch was a 2006 movie). But this is something not unusual in the present world. Individuals, particularly adult children graduating from colleges, come back to their parents for varied reasons. The reasons may be situational or otherwise depending on individual cases.

Common notion prevails that generation Y needs to grow up and take some personal responsibility to face the real world. However, before taking any steps, or revealing your tough love, it is best to ascertain the factors behind such a “boomerang behavior”. It would be easy and justified in handling the situation when you know the reason behind such an attitude. A survey reveals that young adults were forced by economic factors (like the recession period) for having a dependent living. Sometimes, dependent living is not a chosen way of life.

Many students who graduate from college, with the hope and allurement of a promising job market, land up to find things unfavorable in the employment sector. An unexpected adverse job market renders many jobless, what to say of those unemployed. It is not only tough for these young people but also for their aging parents. Dependent living is a commonly observed phenomenon in military families. Besides, a change in family income, job loss or transfer, change in family status due to loss of a parent, divorce, re-marriage, etc. are some other contributors to the “boomerang behavior”.

At times, young adults may want to spend some quality time with their parents before they step out in the world of challenges. By spending a year or two with the parents, young adults can learn to channelize their finances, organize their lifestyle, control their careers, and even learn the tit bits of daily life.

In any case, you need to supervise and administer this behavior so that this does not become a habit. You would always want your child to be an independent entity before he/she is left far behind in the competitive world. Some guidelines discussed here may help align and settle such a situation.

It is a good idea to establish a time line up front. Even if you do not want your child to move out of your house, schedule a timely reevaluation. This would keep a check on the child’s activities. Specifying deadlines can speak clearly about your intentions. Proper understanding and agreement can go a long way in realizing your motive. Discussing your budget with the children can give them a vivid picture of the practical world.
Enable the children to have an income, even though small. It is a good idea to let them participate in some of the household expenses (even if it is a trivial one like paying the electricity bill). This will enable them budget their earnings. A constant repetition of the expenses they are supposed to encounter shortly will give the required dose of reminder. Some find it worth taking some money from children (may be in the form of rentals). This money can actually be saved only to be returned to them later. Such an act can avoid the child becoming careless.

The amount may be small. But your aim is to inculcate self-discipline in your child. If you want to provide financial assistance to get kids back out of your house, it is a good idea to have an end game in mind. You may help them partially (say by paying the rent for the first few months). This would bring out the message that they have to be earning enough to support themselves after some time.

Ensure that your support does not turn into a crutch for your children. It should only provide a strong foundation to have an independent living later. The occasion should provide a safety net for the adult children, enhancing the likelihood that they will never again have to move back in with you.

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About the author: Amanda Kidd is an avid writer and blogger. She loves kids and hence, amongst all, parenting excites her the most. She also writes on different aspects associated with cancer such as cancer care and various cancer treatments.

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